Thursday, January 21, 2010

Workin' the Steps

So I have been sober over a year. I have a fabulous sponsor and I go to my meeting once a week. I have missed a few, but not more than 6 or 7 over the course of the last year. It is my priority. My husband knows this. My children know this. My in laws know this.

In my program there are 4 books to work through. Step 4 is in the second book. Months ago I finished step 3. Was dreading step 4 a little bit. Went to find my second workbook and couldn't. Thought, "Ah, maybe I can just skip these steps."

My sponsor gave me the second book.

The holidays began, my sponsor's daughter was getting married and we kinda slowed down. We still met to talk and she definitely kept me accountable. I made it through the holidays without taking a drink. At times that was quite a challenge. Actually, I don't think I ever came close to taking a drink, but my mental state sometimes took a beating.

Back to the steps.

Monday night I sat down, by myself, and struggled through. Struggle is exactly what I did. {That is another post} We met yesterday and talked through step 4 and 5. We did it! I did it!

And I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I was making it way worse in my head. Too much drama in my brain.

I realized that indeed, I am *still* an alcoholic. There are *still* issues to deal with. And I am *still* a work in progress. However, with God's help I am *still* sober.

Steppin' up!

Happy Thursday~


Kim A. said...

For me, Step 4 has been a lesson in re-introducing me to me. I am an interesting, quirky, stubborn, complex person. But I like me now. That is the gift, to me, of the 4th.


Anonymous said...

I am so proud of you! Step 4 is tuff, but you did it:) {BIG HUG} I did a few 4th steps, cause everytime I thought I got everything out, something else would come up...kinda of like the onion deal:) TTUS, Em

Anonymous said...

Congrats J! So proud of you! I'm getting ready to do Step 4 in the next couple weeks - it's been one I am fearing as well. It's gonna be a llllooooonnnnngggg list & I am dreading dredging up all those bad memories. But I will do it b/c it's the only way to get better. ttyl - hugs - Annette