Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Coming Clean-

Today I met with my pastor. I made an appointment two weeks ago to go in and tell him some of my story. I don't know where I got the idea to tell him, {The Holy Spirit} but I felt strongly that it was time. At the top of the chain, this man is also my boss. There was a slight possibility that the meeting today could in some way result in the loss of my job. That wasn't a real threat, but a possibility.

I just knew I had to tell him. The last time I was in his office I felt like I was being called to the principal's office. It was for a personel issue and thought it turned out fine, I thought I was going to throw up the entire time.

Today was different. I sat down, he asked how I was, then said, "Ok, tell me about your story."

And I said "I am an alcoholic."

I didn't say I struggled with misuse of alcohol. I didn't say I used to drink too much. I didn't say I abused alcohol. I said I was an alcoholic.

I would not have been able to say those 4 words a year ago. Even 6 months ago I was struggling to articulate that sentence.

The freedom I feel, with no more secrets is overwhelming at times. I am full of joy and peace. God's grace fills me, surrounds me. A friend told me tonight "You've climbed a mountain and you are enjoying the view."

How awesome is that metaphor? Where are you on the mountain?

There IS hope.
Happy Wednesday~


Julianne said...

There is hope. Thank you for sharing that it is alive and well.

Robin said...

I am so proud of you!! How was his reaction?

Anonymous said...

I am proud of you and I know there is so much hope and freedom out there...

Annette said...

J - I am soooo proud of you.....I know you have struggled with this for a long time. Now the struggle is taken care of and more out in the open. I'm so glad you don't have to worry about it anymore. You are so brave and I admire you for that. Talk to you soon!

mommaof3 said...

Robin- He was super supportive! HE asked lots of questions, very interested in what I had to say. Completely nonjudgmental. Told me had he ever had a first drink he would have ended up just like me. Asked if he could read parts of my journal.

Still thinking on that one....