Ten Truths I Know For Certain

1. I am an alcoholic
2. I have been sober since December 16, 2008
3. I could not have remained sober all this time without texting
4. I text too often
5. My husband is very supportive, even when he doesn't understand
6. The Lord is working on my familial relationships
7. I feel loved thru words of affirmation
8. I prefer solid hugs
9. Holding a nonalcoholic beer sometimes does the trick
10. The Lord will not waste my years of wandering

Then I acknowledged my sin to you
and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, “I will confess
my transgressions to the Lord.”
And you forgave the guilt of my sin.  Psalm 32:5

Ten Things I FEEL Now

Like many of you, I drank when I wanted to feel numb. To feel nothing. These last 18 months have been full of feelings. Some good. Some bad.

Here are 10 things I have felt while sober

*Uncomfortable- especially in social situations when I know no one
*Relieved - when I wake up in the morning without guilt or remorse
*Sad- especially in the beginning, thinking I would never again feel a buzz
*Exhilarated- when I worked step 4 and 5!
*Aggravated - OFTEN as the mother of young children....a prime reason I drank daily!
*Surprised - This weekend when my mom acknowledged the fact I hadn't drank in over 18 months
*Proud- When I got my 1 yr chip
*Scared- when I stood before my home group and I said "I'm an alcoholic" for the first time
*Frustrated- as my mister and I figure out how his drinking will look in our lives
*Hopeful- as I venture into helping other women who struggle as I do. I hugged another alcoholic today and told her she would be fine. And I believe it!

How are YOU feeling today?
there IS hope~

10 things I will tell my children about my drinking

1* Drinking made me sick. Almost every time I drank more than 3 or 4 I threw up. It didn't phase me. It is gross to throw up and not care.
2*I fell once while in college and hurt my hip. I had to limp to class and that hip is STILL ornery when I run.
3*Drunk dialing/emailing/texting cannot be fixed in the morning.
4*My dad's drinking scared me when I was growing up. There IS a family history of drinking problems on our family.
5*I tried to quit 3 times before December 16, 2008
6*I always thought I could handle more than I could.
7*I was part of a drinking organization in college and took part in hazing. It was very dangerous and I am grateful nothing happened.
8*I didn't know people could have fun and let loose without drinking. No one ever told me that and I didn't witness it at home.
9*Often internal controls told me what I was doing was wrong and I ignored them. I should have paid more attention.
10*My years of drinking bring me great sadness.

What will you tell your children?
Happy Tuesday~

Ten things I haven't done-

Ten things I haven't done since I quit drinking

*Lied at work
*Laid awake at night, hating myself
*Made a roadie in a sonic cup
*Taken alcohol from my inlaws
*Driven with my kids in the car, risking their lives and many others
*Had a conversation about a conversation I didn't remember
*Ingested hundreds of empty calories
*Passed out on the couch
*Drank enough before a social event that by the time I got there I was already quite toasted
*Thrown up

What haven't you done?
What will you do today?
Happy Tuesday!