Wise Proverb

A few weeks ago I was having a rough evening. Not necessarily wanting to drink, but just having a hard time controlling my emotions. I stopped by my sponsor's house and she happened to be reading in the book of Proverbs {I don't believe in coincidences...}

Here are the words she read aloud to me:

Don't drink too much wine and get drunk; don't eat too much food and get fat. Drunks and gluttons will end up on skid row, in a stupor and dressed in rags.Who are the people who are always crying the blues? Who do you know who reeks of self-pity? Who keeps getting beat up for no reason at all? Whose eyes are bleary and bloodshot? It's those who spend the night with a bottle, for whom drinking is serious business. Don't judge wine by its label, or its bouquet, or its full-bodied flavor. Judge it rather by the hangover it leaves you with - the splitting headache, the queasy stomach. Do you really prefer seeing double, with your speech all slurred, Reeling and seasick, drunk as a sailor? "They hit me," you'll say, "but it didn't hurt; they beat on me, but I didn't feel a thing. When I'm sober enough to manage it, bring me another drink!" 

Proverbs 23:20, 29-35, The Message

The program I am in is faith based. I know without a doubt that I would not be able to remain sober without the help of Jesus Christ. He is my portion, my strength, my only hope.

And there IS hope-

Happy Tuesday~

Thankful Thursday

Yesterday was a green holiday. It was a beer holiday. It was an excuse to start drinking at 9 am and go on and on and on.

That isn't what I did.

And I didn't miss it. Honestly, since having children my days of patio sitting, beer swilling, relaxing buzz catching had dwindled to near nothingness. My drinking became huge gulps when no one was looking, refilling my wine glass as I rushed thru dinner preparations, and drinking from a coffee cup as I watched afternoon cartoons on pbs.

Not exactly fun or fashionable.

I am grateful I no longer have to attempt to drink like a grown up or set boundaries for myself that I couldn't keep or promise myself that next time would be different. My brain is damaged. My body is was addicted to alcohol.

I've been sober for 15 months.

And for that I am thankful.
Happy Thursday~

Looking back-

This is an entry from my prayer journal, March 13, 2009:

O my God- You have done great things. In me. For me. In spite of me. Thank you for continuing after me, for not giving up. For thinking I am worth more than being a 31 yr old alcoholic. Thank you for the good time with Dr. Q on Weds. It is going to be a tough journey and I will need so much help, but I really want to break through some of this.

That was one year ago. I have made progress, and I am still on a tough journey. But many things have gotten easier. And I have needed so much help, but many have been willing to stand beside me.

I am blessed.

Happy Saturday~