So my cousin came over yesterday to ask me a few questions. He has a roommate who he thinks may have a drinking problem. We sat outside in the gorgeous weather and talked for awhile, it was enjoyable. The conversation moved towards our family, our shared heritage and the very obvious role alcohol plays in many people's lives with whom we are related.
Then he said something that really surprised me at first. He said that many in my extended family don't believe I am an alcoholic. That he has overheard comments and people think I am over reacting or something.
I was surprised at first, then quickly understood. In order for my family to recognize I had a problem, they would have to also look closely at their own relationship with alcohol. It made me again so grateful for my sobriety and I offered up a prayer for them, for their safety and for their families.
I also have to consciously choose to not judge them or spout off about what I think so and so needs. I know, I KNOW, that sobriety cannot be forced on anyone and that it is for those who want it, not those who need it. And I must also guard my thinking that I don't start doubting myself whether or not I had a drinking problem. The evidence is all over my journals from the last two years and from the stories and stories I could tell.
Yes, my name is jamee and I am an alcoholic.
yet, there IS hope~
5 comments:
Thank you so much for this post. It is just what I needed to hear this morning. It is so hard to watch those around me, believing they have a drinking problem and hoping they will seek help, without judgment. Letting go is the most difficult thing.
Your reminder that people view our alcoholism through the prism of their own (dis)honesty about their relationship with alcohol is also very important.
I love this post Jamee! I too had people tell me that they didn't think I was an alcoholic and I kept their voices in the back of my head for a long time. Those voices and my own alcoholic brain together helped to bring about my relapses in 10/10, 11/10 and 12/10. I know now, FOR SURE, that I am an alcoholic....there is no longer a single doubt in my mind :)
what a great perspective about them having to look at their own lives. I never thought of it that way.
I've had this experience as well. In times when I'm not invited to some event or just plain feel excluded I remember this.
And then I specifically contact the people at another time to spend time with them. I've found that people forget I'm still me ;)
what a wonderful post...i recently wrote a 'intervention' letter to my mother who is an alcohlic (as am i) time to stop doubting myself about my drinking problem and hers.
however i've been sober for 4 years!
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