I have a heavy heart this morning. My husband just left for work and we hugged tighter than usual, both of us with tears in our eyes as we pulled away. There was a tragedy in our town yesterday. A man was doing his job and another man, dealing with mental illness, shot and killed two people. The man doing his job and an innocent bystander. Others were also wounded.
An interesting fact....I am connected to 4 people involved in the tragedy. My husband was friends with the first victim. I went to at least junior high and church with the shooter. The other victim has family at my job and a wounded by stander is a friend of a friend from out of town.
As the events unfolded yesterday I was quite unaware. I was seated at a tiny ethnic restaurant, talking with a gal, sharing parts of my story, hearing parts of her's. Our lunch took two hours, not unusual for me. When we exited the restaurant and I checked my phone I had several missed calls and texts, wondering if I was ok, what was going on.
I had no idea.
A quick phone call to my mother in law and mom and I came home. The rest of my information for the day came via text, I did not turn on the television or computer. Apparently we made it on to a major news network.
I tried reaching my husband, whose job sometimes brings him close to dangerous people. No answer. I left a message. I texted. I took my kids swimming, trying to pretend like all was ok. As I was making dinner I received a text with the identity of the shooter. I immediately called my friend....are you kidding me? It was a guy I had algebra with. I remember him.
Unreal. My husband came in from work, with tears in his eyes. I didn't realize how well he knew the first victim. This had all hit so close to home. After a few minutes of long silences and quick phone calls to exchange information, I kissed my husband and left for Bible study.
This summer I've been studying the book of Esther and the repeating theme is that God is in control, He can turn the tables at any point and He works all for our good and His glory.
Yes, I've heard that before. Yes, I want to believe that. Yes, I have to hang on to that when all seems chaos.
As I read the many articles this morning detailing the events of yesterday, two quotes stood out to me. One person said that the first victim wasn't even supposed to be doing that job today, that indeed God was calling him home. And his wife was heard to have said that he was doing what he loved so much.
So I can rest in that. I can rest in the fact that God has numbered my days, that nothing surprises Him. That although I do not know what the future holds, I serve a Lord who does and He will be glorified in my life when I submit my whole heart to Him. I will not live in fear, frightened that I or my husband might die any day.
The truth is, we might. At some point, we indeed will die. I don't know where I'll be, what I'll be doing. Until then I will do what I love, I will serve the Lord and I will not be afraid.
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
